Awesome Dachshund Riding Unicorn Happy Independence Shirt

Don’t be daft, Tom Cruise doesn’t believe in gods. He thinks an ancient galactic dictator named Xenu flew billions of Douglass DC-8 airliners into a volcano releasing their trapped immortal souls, called thetans, to roam the earth and inhabit his body. If there was a contest to see. Who could arrive latest to their own lawsuit in England I wouldn’t even show up. I knew Scientology was nutso but holy fucking shit I had no idea. About halfway through the Awesome Dachshund Riding Unicorn Happy Independence Shirt. And yes, I can vouch that is what they believe. The problem is you don’t learn that until your tens if not hundreds of thousands in and they know your every darkest secret and most deep-seated things about you so it’s too late.

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Shit really gives you a glimpse into the mind of the writer. It was so batshit crazy I read them all. They were page-turners for another reason lol. You will literally find yourself going holy what kind if fucking whackjob sweeping statements is he gonna say next. To be fair every religion sounds insane when explained to an Awesome Dachshund Riding Unicorn Happy Independence Shirt. The Christian god is a guy who is actually 2 guys and a ghost who gives man free will but punishes us if we don’t do what he wants and he’s a real jerk until he impregnates a poor married lady with himself then he gets chill and basically disappears. Also, he knows what you’re thinking but you still have to tell him via prayer.

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That’s what I was gonna say, but he knows when you’re sleeping. If you’ve been bad or good, not what you’re thinking. Santa is just a creepy voyeur. Who leaves you gifts once a year as a thank you for all the watching he does. Santa is that creepy old man that gets his “jollies” off by watching kids and occasionally gives presents out as an Awesome Dachshund Riding Unicorn Happy Independence Shirt. It literally started as a joke bet in a bar where L Ron Hubbard bet he could create a religion people would follow when accused of being a bad writer over drinks. Came to look at a photoshopped picture of a pup. I spent ten minutes reading comments about Tom Cruise and Scientology.

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