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I did, actually, and it’s ended up being a positive experience. I do support & understand what my mother did when she fled with me, but I now also understand my father’s situation (he was not a shitheel like OP’s husband, my mom and him were both just very, very young when she got pregnant and pushed into marriage, and being controlled heavily by their own parents) and we’ve developed a long distance relationship. I’d had very limited contact with him as a child – one very tightly supervised visit when I was like 10 years old, then letters calls on Scott 20 Schrute I Want People To Be Afraid Of How Much They Love Me Shirt my birthday, Christmas, that sort of thing. Basically right after I was born, my mother panicked about raising me in what was really a very misogynistic (at the time) country.

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She’d had a terrible childbirth where both of Scott 20 Schrute I Want People To Be Afraid Of How Much They Love Me Shirt us nearly died, and yet was told by my dad’s parents that she’d be expected to keep having more kids asap. (If there was an attempted “re”-kidnapping or someone watching me while I was at school, it was likely his parents.) My mom’s parents pushed her and actually helped her get out and flee back to the U.S. I grew up hearing a very one-sided version of it all from my mom and her parents, so by the time I was 18 or so I basically stopped contacting my dad at all/responding to his letters. About 15 years went by,  I was actually visiting my birth country/dad’s country on holiday and it got me thinking about trying to contact him again. Just because I wanted to know more about my family history.

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Took a while but I actually found him on LinkedIn of all places since I remembered what company he used to work for. He immediately replied and I ended up getting the entire story from his POV (he’d even saved the “Dear John” letter my mother left him the day she ran for the airport.) Since then I tend to go back to visit that country once every year or two and I’ll meet up with my dad for a few days on each trip. About ten years have passed now, and on my last visit I actually stayed in his current house, with my husband, and met my half-brothers for the first time (they didn’t even know I existed until last year. My dad’s parents pressured him to basically never tell ANYONE about me, his first marriage, etc. It ended up making a bit of Scott 20 Schrute I Want People To Be Afraid Of How Much They Love Me Shirt a mess for him legally.

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